Thursday, August 25, 2016


To the Eyes-

For my Love of the Hummingbird' I thought I would do another post with many
different kinds of hummingbirds links so that you all can just click on. One of the sites that
I found that most of these links come from even have the sounds of each hummingbird, I hope
you all find this interesting to my dear friends and followers. I have been wanting to do this kinda
post for a while but just never got around to it. So I hope you all enjoy the post.
It will be a fun one...Wendy...The link below is a great one...Its where I found most
of the Hummingbirds links below...And it has the sounds of the hummingbirds too! Enjoy....
1-Green Violet
2-Brood-billed Hummingbird-guide/Broad-billed_Hummingbird/lifehistory
3-White-eared Hummingbird-/whiteearedhummingbirds.html
4-Berylline Hummingbird-
5-Buff-Bellied Hummingbird-
10-Ruby Throat-
11-Black Chinned-
20-Magenta-throat WoodStars-
21-Coppery headed Emerald-
22-Green Thorntail-
23-Volcano hummingbird-
25-Stripe throat hermit-
26-Black Bellied-
27-Violet Sabrewing-
28-Purple-Crowned Fairy-
29-Green-front lancebill-
30-Brown Violetear-
32-Purple-Throat Mountain Gem-
33-White-bellied Mountain Gem-
34-Cinnamon-Throat Hermit-
36-Fiery throat-
37-Green hermit-
38-Green-tailed Goldenthroat-
39-Green-throat Mango-
40-Green-breasted Mountain Gem-
41-Green-breasted Mango-
42-Bronze-tailed Comet-
43-Bronze-tailed Thornbill-
44-Bronze-tailed Plumeleteeer-
45-White-necked Jacobin-
46-Green-Crown Brilliant-
47-Steely-vented Hummingbird-

Much love to you All!
Yur Friend Always

Tuesday, August 23, 2016


XXXI Summer Olympics
in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil Ended-
Sunday August 21, 2016
Good afternoon my dear friends and followers. I though since the Olympics ended Sunday
I would do a post on the highlights. And figure a few of the Athletics too! I didn't get to see much of the Olympics but I must say when doing the research for this post it was fabulous. All the beautiful colors that are known for Rio de Janeiro amazing. And the final closing ceremony for the 16 days at the Rio games was simply amazing. Of course every Olympics has their numerous highlights with the bizarre; the ugly; overshadowed; bravery of really bad weather & other interesting issues but over all the Olympics is a happy time in our world when nations meet together at peace. I just wish it could be like that all the time. It would seem that this is South America's very first Summer Olympics and they definitely showed the world how to party and give a grand show of colors...Even with the many problems that remain in their great country, They are a proud people. They worked well, with the International Olympic Committee President 'Thomas Bach.
The President Mr. Bach was so very please how they Incorporated  their beautiful coastline and year-round sunshine/lush tropical vegetation in the closing Games. It would seem that the next Summer Olympics in 2020 is to be in Japan.. Wish I could go.
As for the Closing ceremony I have both photo's and a few video's for you all.
The closing ceremony featured many beautiful acts. There were dozens of dancers dressed in colorful
feathers, others to formed in the shapes of the arches of Lapa which is a popular area of Rio akin to Roman ruins. They then morphed to make their bodies the shape of an iconic Sugarloaf before quickly changing once again. This time to the Official 2016 symbol. On the floor Olympians poured into the stadium under the light rain, waving their flags while many shook their bodies to the samba-infused pop that made the stadium feel like a huge Rio party/parade. 
Britain's athletes wore special shoes where the soles would lit up when they walked by changing - the colors or red, white and blue, while the Tongan taekwondo athlete
'Pita Taufatofua danced onstage in a grass skirt, reprising a moment that captured the attention when he carried the flag for his country during the opening ceremonies. As the ceremony continued, it gave tribute to the cave paintings, of the first inhabitants of the Americas, in Serra da Capivara in North Eastern Brazil. Sadly today it happens to be Brazil's poorest regions. There were so many other creative performers to watch as the dancers that would hold small umbrellas while doing acrobatics. Then they would shake small vassourinhas-means 'small brooms' to a popular song that was also the name of a famous club in the northeastern city of Recife. The people of Rio built their performance around the theme of 'Saudade' which means anything from longing for someone to sadness to remembering good times. I discovered that 'Saudade' is one of the most important words in Brazilian Portuguese language. It was an amazing light show with beautiful dancers -COLOURS...
A bit of history for you all... Brazil was the last country in the Americas to outlaw slavery in 1888.
As far as Memorable moments/problems within the Games
 As I said there were many wonderful memories, its just hard to pick which ones to put on my post. So I will try to put a little bit of everyone the best that I can.
1-This was for Brazilian athletes and competitors around the world. First I should talk a little about the world of Soccer- Yes, Brazilians love their Soccer. In the case between Germany & Brazil well, Brazil got partial payback with Germany by winning Gold two
years. Yet I believe they will always be competing against each other for the full win...
2- In Rio there was so many different athletes. My favorite Michael Phelps but there were so many others.. American gymnast Simone Biles asserted her dominance with four gold medals, Usain Bolt, put on his usual show with his three Gold medals just before his 30th birthday and finally Michael Phelps adds five more to his
staggering total of 23 Gold and the worlds fastest man in the pool.
3-Sadly there was some nasty parts of the Olympics, for which I guess I should mention. It was an American swimmer Ryan Lochte's who fabricated a story about a harrowing robbery that was actually an intoxicated-fueled vandalism of a gas station bathroom. Me personally I didn't know much about till I did this post. It is truly sad that a athlete would do something like this after all the hard work to just to get to the Olympics to compete.
4-Another bizarre issue came-up, when the diving pools going from a crystal blue to a gunky, algae green- at a time when Rio's water quality in open waters is one of the biggest local environmental issues. Even with that the games went on.... 
5-I believe that the people of Brazil are strong and can overcome anything.. Even with the Zika virus scare that was looming over their summer Olympic games. I am sure there was some competitors, tourists, that just wouldn't even come because of this virus. Then of course the rampant street crime that their law enforcement had to endure because of the recent world fears about safety in Brazil. But watch these good people they are resilient and they can overcome anything. Every country has problems and we shouldn't single out one just because will might see their flaws more closely because we were all under their thumb nails at the Rio Games... It could have been your country..
We should be helping them with the Zika virus because these thing came move anywhere they want.
So now that I have about the good/not so good about the games.. I have pick out a few Athletes that have made a impression at the Games...
Rafaela Silva wins Brazil's first gold

Rafael Siva-

She grew up in a favela just a few miles from the arena where the women's
judo finals were held, she won Brazil's first gold in the Rio Games setting off one
of the nicest moments of the Olympic Games. The hometown crowd went wild as the
24-year old cried and celebrated with the crowed while Brazil's flag was draped around
her. This comes four years after she was disqualified for an illegal grab and came home
to racial taunts. She would go on to say after winning the Gold.
'Today I'm not an embarrassment for my Family'

Usain Bolt-
There have been plenty of athletes that have become stars after their
exploits in track and field, but Usain Bolt is on another level. By blowing
by the competition to win the 100m again, the 'Worlds Fastest Man' puts us
in awe as the only man to have done that in three consecutive Olympics.
The photo of Bolt finishing his 100m semifinal heat may go down as one of
the most iconic sports photos ever. Bolt also impressed by having his
slowest time in a 200m final yet still blowing away the competition. His
nine Gold medals trails only Phelps.

Michael Phelps-
He sounds like he is really retiring this time, and as he does he walks off the Olympic
Stage the most decorated Olympian ever. And it isn't even close. He owns 23 gold medals
[second place all-time is nine] and 28 overall medals and staked his claim to the
greatest athlete ever. But two other reasons that Phelps may be remembered from Rio.
One was his gracious second place finish to Singapore swimmer Joseph Schooling--

Refugee Team

The ovation that the ten athletes that comprised
the Refugee Olympic Team was second only to
host Brazil. The athletes, hailing from
South Sudan, Syria, Ethiopia &
the Democratic Republic of Congo
are a reminder that there are plenty of places
in our world that see humans face true struggle
just to stay alive and these brave souls found away
to not only escape the horrors of their
homelands but to perform and to compete
a sport at the highest level.
These are the hero's of the Games

Michael Phelps Son-
Nicole Johnson, partner of
Michael Phelps holds their son
Boomer during the Rio 2016
Olympic Games on Aug,8 2016

Katie Ledecky
Everything Katie did in Rio was unreal but her
performance in the 800m freestyle is simply mind-blowing.
Not only did she dominate, set a world record and win
another gold medal, she won that race by a
full 11 seconds. Seriously. Hold your breath for 11
seconds just to see how long her dominant victory
was. It's just sick! Of course if you start feeling sick
while holding your breath for 11 seconds just let it
out and breathe.

Carmelo Anthony
The Nice American
NBA fans will go back to basting on Carmelo
Anthony when the season starts, but Melo has been
the elder statesman and leader of a relatively inexperienced
team USA men's basketball team. He visited a Rio favela,
playing pickup basketball games and taking in the culture of the
city. Over the summer he has taken a stance on
social issues and gotten some of his high-profile NBA
brethren to stand alongside him.
His time in Rio shows that it wasn't just some quick thought
or action: There is more to Melo that just basketball.
Hopefully he will still find away to play in the 2020 Games

Simone Manuel
Manuel became the first African-American to win
Swimming Gold when she won the women's
100m freestyle. Not only did she shocked look on her face
when she saw she won endeared her to Americans,
but her genuine outpouring of emotion afterwards as she
accepted her Gold medal was heartwarming.
Manuel broke all kinds of barriers with her
performance in Rio and hopefully will inspire girls
all over the World!

Simone Biles
Biles may not be perfect, but she was darn close in Rio.
Biles won gold on her team all around, vault and floor
exercise and won bronze on the balance beam.
Her medal haul was impressive, but her personality
even more so. Unlike the stoic gymnasts of the past, Biles is a
smile factory who genuinely enjoys her teammates and
celebrates their accomplishments together.. even
bringing up silver medalist teammate
Aly Raisman onto the floor to take in the applause
after winning all-around Gold. Oh and she also got
a kiss from Zac Efron, so she has that going for her too,
not to mention the honor of being the first US female gymnast
to serve as flag bearer at Rio's closing ceremonies.

Wayde Van Niekerk's
World's Record
Out of lane eight, the South African Olympic Wayde
van Niekerk won the Gold in the 400m. His coach,
74-year old grandmother Ans Botha is one of the few
female track coaches at that level. And was on hand
to see his victory [her also grandson victory].
Van Niekerk's mother was a very good track star in
the 1980's and 1990's in apartheid-era South Africa,
when the nation was banned from many events
The world record he broke was Michael Johnson's
who set it in 1999.

Ibtihaj Muhammad
Muhammad became the first Muslim-American Woman
to win a medal in the Olympics while wearing a hijab.
Muhammad won the bronze in the team saber.
The Rio Games also saw the Egyptian Beach Volleyball team
in full hijab too!
The world does have hope and peace Yeah!

Brazilian Soccer Team
Aug-20...Neymar and the Brazilian Men's Soccer team
were overcome by emotion after defeating the German Soccer team to win the Gold Medal on home soil.
The victory was a measure of revenge after the Germans
embarrassed the Brazilians in a 7-1 defeat during the
2014 World Cup in Rio...

Well, I hope you all enjoy
the post on the Rio de Janeiro
Olympics my dear
friends and followers
I wish you all love and peace.
Your friend always

Monday, August 22, 2016


Tom and Suri-Will Tom Ever Leave-
Scientology for Daughter Suri?

Well, my dears I have always been very curious about the relationship that
Tom Cruise and his Daughter has or doesn't has. There are so many different reports in the news,
it's just figuring out which one is true. The last one I heard, is Suri hadn't seen her father since she was 6yrs old. That's 1,000 days citing her mum. Now this could be many reasons since the two Kati and Tom don't get along. Also it could be, the fact with Tom's religion too. I try to have a open mind with it all. However, three years is a long time for a father not to see their own daughter even if they are a huge movie star. I have always enjoyed Tom's movies and his up bet personality too. but of late with his Church of Scientolgists and its practises I am not to sure, since the first time I saw the movie of him dancing in a living room and Top Gun.  I happen to be just a few years older and I too have gone through my bounds of faith with god. but within the last 20yrs I have had complete faith in my god in the good or not so good times. I truly believe that everybody is untitled to their own type of religion. However, if the religion makes such rules that you should not have no contact with you children just because they aren't part of your religion. Something is very wrong in my opinion. Over the years I have watched Tom Cruise and I do believe he has a right to his own religion. However, over time he has gotten a bit over the top on his Church of Scientology's. Sadly he has gone through 3 divorce. Now I don't know or can say its because of Scientology but as more people are coming out you could say and giving us a inside view of what is truly going on inside. I am being to wonder.
I do remember years ago in my 20's when Scientology people, would come to the door all the time. Well, haven't seen that in a long time.
The whole reason for this post is to put some light on exactly what this Church of Scientology is and I pray that the rumors aren't truth about Tom. I hope his heart for his daughter is much stronger/love for his child and not buckle down for the church of Scientology as they called it. It shouldn't matter that he's been part of it for over 20+years. All he needs to do is look into Suri's eyes and that's all it should take. A fathers love for his daughter.
Some of the reasons that Tom could be thinking of leaving is that both Katie and his daughter have both been 'ex-communicated from the church. However, I did hear this quote, ' Scientologists do not cut ties with non-Scientology's friends or family members because they have chosen another religion' note---A rep for Tom Cruise declined to comment on this which in my opinion says it all Sadly!! 
So have you all heard -
Tom Cruise Shocker Quitting Scientology for his Daughter Suri!!!
To me I hope its true... The question is if Tom wants to or will the Church let him GO!
The question that comes to me is will they let him GO! 
You may wonder how this all got started other than the two missing each other... It all started with a recent phone call that he had with his daughter, they were talking about her ballet class. At that point it made Tom realize he need to get out, to see his little girl grow up. He had realized he had never seen his little girl perform her ballet and that was the trigger for him.. Also, that Suri was growing up so fast before his eyes, and he has already miss so much already. Talking on the phone and video chat just is the same as being with your child. Those times are lost since she was young. 
However, after making this decision - he knows what he is up against. He as been under tremendous pressure when it comes to his daughter and his ex-Katie because the church doesn't want him anywhere near them. So what to do? Other sources say that the Church can't stand that Tom isn't raising Suri in the religion of Scientology. There is another hurdle that Tom has to go through to leave the Church...If the Church of Scientology has label [A CHURCH LABELING A CHILD/THAT IS A CHURCH OF LOVE I JUST DON'T GET IT] anyway this would mean Suri would be a SUPPRESSIVE PERSON TO HER FATHER.[SUPPRESSIVE PERSON IN SCIENTOLOGY TERMS IS ENEMY OF THE CHURCH CRAZY].So this would be an even harder hurdle for Tom to have a relationship with his daughter. I see the only way is to leave the church cold turkey!!!
Yet at least he is finally making good choices and putting his daughter first.. I truly hope so. Maybe it has hit him that Suri is 9yrs old and the last time they were always together was when  she was 6yrs. So much can happen in 3yrs that you can NEVER get back.. I myself treasure those moments and the home video's and photo's too. Tom sadly has missed all those birthdays etc. Six years old to now a 9yrs isn't a baby anymore. I hope that Tom realizes that he could loose his daughter for good if he doesn't act NOW!
So Is Tom Cruise Leaving Scientology?
or Do you think the Enormous Church will do something to
Stop him to keep their Poster Boy as I have hear Tom called?
I thought I would never hear or see it in writing ... July 5, 2015 note haven't see any news since this day put there is still hope.
After over 20+years the Face of Scientology Tom Cruise just might be prepping to leave the
controversial organization. I hope he makes it.

Tom Cruise leaving Scientology's for his little girl Suri is a grand thing, I just pray it really happens

If he's able to unlock the grips of the Church of Scientology, that he's been apart for so many years. Also the fact that Tom has been their most famous member for many years isn't going to help with leaving either. Tom has been the target of  unfriendly press of many different stories about the religion, that began simply as a book by L. Ron Hubbard. Then in 1953 Ron Hubbard decided to open the Church of Scientology in Camden, New Jersey in 1953. Sadly I do remember back in the 90's when Tom was very much into the Scientology, he did many talk shows, speaks, both on YouTube and with the Church of Scientology too. I believe even with the son of the leader of the Church. All of these different stories in the 90's I truly believe are going to haunt him in his quest to leave the church...

So I pray that they don't hold this all against him.. But I have a feeling they will. And of course his two marriages the first 10years to Nicole Kidman that the church might of broke them up. I just hope that Tom is strong and holds to his heart.. 

Well, As I am doing this post, I am giving Tom the benefit of the doubt as I always do when I do a post like this an because as a mother I just hope that he makes the right decisions. However the
more I go on with this post I am finding that this post my not have a happy ending for Suri.
It has not been confirmed whether or not Tom Cruise is in fact leaving Scientology as the actor has
yet to speak on the issue. The reason I have my doubts is this...
Tom says that he is going to leave the Scientology.. However, there is this quote... They put it at the end Article to explain the meaning of Scientology and their religion. They also put the website link...official site
So If you think about it, is Tom Cruise truly going to leave the Church of Scientology-And have the official site & and the complete description of Scientology... 
Now what they say.. Scientology is described as being a religion that offers a precise path leading to a complete and certain understanding of one's true spiritual nature and ones relationship to self, family, groups, Mankind, all life forms, the material universe, the spiritual universe and the Supreme Being.' The following passage is written on the site's 'What is Scientology?
'Scientology further holds Man to be basically good, and that his spiritual
salvation depends upon himself, his fellows and his attainment of
brotherhood with the universe.'
Scientology is not a dogmatic religion in which one is asked to accept
anything on faith alone. On the contrary, one discovers for oneself that the
principles of Scientology are true by applying its principles and observing of
experiencing the results.'
The ultimate goal of Scientology is true spiritual enlightenment and
freedom for all.'
Scientology is often criticized because some people believe its members are
subjected to physical and psychological abuse.
After they describe their Scientology then I was very surprise to see a video
that was back in 2008 that Tom Cruise had made.. So it made me question if this
is a truth or a untruth. So after this I found some more reset videos so you all can make your
own decision if he has left the Scientology... I am not sure when this was done
It could of been done in 2008 then redone in 2014 so there you go!

Published on Apr 6, 2016
This exclusive aerial photo shows the vast 100-acre estate known as Saint Hill Manor, where founder L. Ron Hubbard lived, will now be the UK home of Cruise. It is thought the Hollywood star will take up residence in the Manor, circled, and not the Castle, left, a modern building that houses executive offices, auditing and course rooms. The actor wants to make the controversial religion's headquarters a major landmark - and has been dipping in to his own vast personal fortune to make it happen, sources tell Mail Online. Phil Major, a director of the local soccer club and not a Scientologist, received a rare invitation to the annual Scientology bash last October that featured 'bottomless Champagne and four-star food.' Tom asked Major to pose together for a photo (inset) but it was the Church's leader David Miscavige who left the biggest impression on Major 'The top actors in the world couldn't come close. He speaks so fast and there were no stutters or pauses. I was taken in by the quality of his delivery.'

Scary stuff only a month ago Tom Cruise radio

Well I think I found the sad truth
Scientology grab another victim..
In this last video...
I thought I would put a few photos that
I found to show that Tom was a good dad. Now if he
could only break away from the claws of
Or does he want to?

This is a notation of one victim who did get away....
As doing this post I found that Scientology is a very scary place...I felt it was important to show this persons time through Scientology and the struggles she made to get out. As I read her story it took her many years to recover from the time in there. You will be very haunted by what you read and also what so many people are being sucked into
to me it sounds very much like a over glory cult, which I am sorry to say... I am very concerned for Suri for I believe in my heart that she probably won't see her father unless an intervention of friends take him out and bring him to a re-hab of UN-Scientology's him...Wendy
The link below is where I found the woman's story.
'Why I Left Scientology"
I put her story in full because I felt it was very
important for all to see and at this link she would like all to see too...
'I was a Scientologist for eight years. Although I identified as one I didn't really understand what actually being a Scientologist fully entailed until after a couple of years of being heavily indoctrinated. The reality of Scientology is deceptively hidden and cleverly disguised. When I look at Scientology today, I have to forgive myself for not seeing through the manipulation sooner. I've spent the last 13years keeping Scientology out of my life. It hasn't been easy but I've

The day I was taken to the Celebrity Centre In Los Angeles for the first time, I had no idea how much the visit would change and shape me into the person I am today. Or what I'd be like if the fates had something different in mind for me.
I bought a one-way ticket from Georgia to California when I was 19. My dream was to be an actor. Four months after arriving, I met the person who would introduce me to the organization around which my life would soon begin to revolve. Jason Lee, the actor best known for My Name is Earl, and I were introduced at an action sports trade show in San Diego where I was working as a model for an indie clothing label. Jason was at the height of his pro-skateboard success. We got married in 1995 after being together for one year.

Jason had been a Scientologist what made becoming a Scientologist What made becoming a Scientologist all too easy, especially in the beginning, were the famous and
successful faces that surrounded and influenced me. It
made it seem like maybe Scientology was the real cause behind all this success these young people were having. Jason's friends became my friends. I was impressed with how educated in art they all were. I learned a lot through them, but at 20years old, there was no one in my life who wasn't a Scientologist. I got a horrible feeling in my stomach that first day at the Celebrity Centre. Jason and I had spoken about Scientology many times.
Our relationship was serious; we had just moved in together. Eventually, I started to feel like he was forcing Scientology on me, past the point where I didn't want to go any further. He would never stop talking about it. It became a source of contention and I realized that unless I accepted Scientology the way he did and the way he wanted me to, we would most likely cease to know each another. I didn't want to go inside the Centre, but Jason was so excited for me. He had set up a tour of everything. A very nice Sea org staff member showed us around, taking us to the different levels and departments and explaining how Scientology worked. Of course, Jason had been there before and it wasn't lost on me that the tour was all for my benefit. It was unnerving to know that my reaction to what was happening could be a deal breaker in our relationship. I think I was too young to even understand the impact this had on my decision making.
We walked over to a room where a couple of people were reading and waiting to be taken into 'session,' as it was described to me. As we kept going it occurred to me how unreal and expensive Scientology was to going to be. [I'm not exactly sure, but I know with all the auditing, books and courses I took, the cost of Scientology added up to more than $50,000. This included the cost of my lifetime membership to the International Association of Scientologists, Which is thousands of dollars and a requirement that must be paid before any services can be started. This amount does not include the donations the church asked us for over the years.
To me, Scientology seemed more of a surreal lifestyle for the privileged than a kind of belief system. Our tour guide showed us the auditing part of the grade chart, then the training part. She asked us, wouldn't we like to become clear one day and was that something we could imagine ourselves doing? I remember saying I did, but that I would most likely only do the auditing side since it seemed impossible for me to finish both sides. I joked that I had no idea how I'd ever have time to do anything else. 

She surprised me when she abruptly cut me off me mid-sentence in order to say that I would finish both sides, like every other Scientologist is required do. Her quick Personality shift from accommodating to controlling shocked me. I didn't expect to be belittled by our tour guide, given that it was my choice to do anything concerning Scientology--if I was going to do it at all. I wondered how she could see it any other way. But she didn't back down from what she said. It made me feel stupid. And then she just moved on with the tour as if nothing had happened. I didn't like it and I didn't understand it. Worse, Jason seemed to not notice.
After I left Scientology I came to know this type of communication very well, if you can call it that it's too one sided for it to be called an actual communication cycle because its more like being talked at.
Hubbard created a complicated emotional tone scale and used it to teach Scientologists how to deal with people . This specific way of talking was called 'speaking with tone 40 intent'. This was all learned in a very low-level course, all under the guise of having better communication skills. We practiced speaking this way with each other. Two of the training routines taught us how to deal with a person who was doing something wrong basically ordering them around. In this routine you spoke to the person in a commanding way and you didn't offer them a chance to reply. This was how people in the church talked to me after I left. I regrettably admit to speaking to people that way myself when I believed it was called for. It was also how Jenna Elfman and Gay Ribisi treated me when I became known as a 'Suppressive Person.' More on that later. Our tour of the Centre continued on. I'd run out of adjectives to describe how beautiful the building was. I hated sensing the need to over-emphasize exactly how much I liked everything, like I had to prove it. [This is something else I got used to doing while being a Scientologist.]
I listened to the history of how the Centre used to be a
hotel and all the renovations done to it, but I couldn't help thinking that nothing seemed religious about Scientology.
Most of what was presented to me was focused on the material side of life. I was shown L. Ron Hubbard's office, set up perfectly for when he comes back in another lifetime.
The famous members of the religion were mentioned over and over again. In the Rose Garden, cans of Coke were on sale for $2 each alongside overpriced snacks. It was all very ostentatious. Most of the focus was on ways things appeared . It confusing to me that a church was called the Celebrity Centre. I didn't like having class systems mixed into my religion. It just didn't seem right.
A year or so later, at a party at the Centre I discovered just how difficult it was for me to hide my critical feelings. Most people in the church will say it's a person's critical thoughts that get them in thoughts that get them in trouble with it. But when you leave, its those same critical judgments that end up freeing you. For me, being the emotional creature I was and still am, it was those thoughts I couldn't let go of even in the most intense of days in my time as a Scientologist.
This was a Hollywood premier-type party, with red velvet ropes and a guard who'd lift them if you were a recognizable Scientology celebrity, worthy of the status of being separated from the crowd. It got under my skin that this was being done in the name of religion, but I wasn't strong enough yet to voice my opinion about it. When my own friend's mother couldn't get in and I had to pull the guard aside as to not embarrass her, I asked myself what the hell was I doing there.
It's hard to come to terms with the fact that I never related any of this to anyone around me, at least not until I left Scientology and it felt safe to do so. You never think that speaking your mind could get you in that much trouble, but if you knew what the average Scientologist's perspective was on friendships you'd understand.
It becomes a lonely world. It wasn't hard to see how my

Story would end if and when I went that route. No one is really friends with each other in Scientology. I began to call my Scientologist faux friends, because who could be close to somebody when you know for a fact that they would betray your confidence in a heartbeat? In Scientology, your friend can become you worst enemy overnight. The backstabbing and creative deceitfulness I experienced in Scientology were what wounded me the most. Faux friends have no problems betraying you. A few years ago I looked up my former best friend on Facebook. I had been gone from Scientology for almost a decade and hadn't spoken t anyone from the group, so I was very surprised to see pictures of me on her page, and even more surprised to see that she and her friends were gleefully making fun of me in the photos. They wrote captions comparing me to Anna Nicole Smith, saying I was going to end up dead just like her. They said I was "a missing person' and asked if anyone had seen me[but not in the helpful sense. It made me sick to see them making nothing out of another human being's life. They took pride in knowing about my private struggles with addiction, which at that time in my life I'd never spoken about publicly and certainly never shared with them-I'd also successfully gone through rehab and had been in recovery for several years. When I discovered these Facebook posting, I had two small children at home, who needed me very much and who I lived for. Seeing people that consider themselves the most ethical immortal being on the planet take bets in public on how long I had to live was an ugly sight to say the least. But to Scientologists, I am not human. I am a Suppressive Person, a one dimensional unthinking humanoid who has no rights. And in Scientology the way they were treating me was the only way a Suppressive person is to be treated.
A Suppressive Person is the worst thing you can be in Scientology. This label is reserved for anyone who is opposed to, speaks out about or leaves the religion. Scientologists believe that such a person, like an ex-scientologist who speaks out about their former beliefs and or who doesn't disconnect from one who has, will make everyone around them sick. They'll ruin everyone's lives with whom they come into contact and must never be socialized with again. According t the written doctrine of Scientology, Suppressive Persons must be destroyed if the religion is to continue saving the world. This is why it's difficult to look at these nice and sweet celebrities and ever imagine they could be full of such rage and hate. But they've actually been hardwired, slowly and over a long period of time, to fanatically believe in this..........
I remember when I tried telling one faux friend how the writings of L. Ron Hubbard felt too convoluted for me to absorb. About a sentence into my opinion, she cut me off. Before I knew it she had totally whitewashed what I'd said, But it was like she thought she was doing me a favor by not letting me express myself. I found myself agreeing with her in the hope that I wouldn't cause any more problems. Anything I said or even thought that was considered a deviation from the general Scientology an actual word we used teaching was seen by other as an error on my part--something that needed correction. Or it meant something was horribly wrong with me. 
Shortly after I left Scientology, I ran into one of my former Faux-friends, Jenna Elfman, at Fred Segal in La. She walked up to me and said "Hi' and stared in my face for a second in a semi-confrontational way. I was shocked for a second but said hello, how are you, thinking it was going to be a normal conversation. But rather than telling me how she was, she went on a rant about all the courses she was working on and finishing in Scientology to let me know that nothing other that religion mattered. She didn't ask me how I was. She didn't wish me well or ask me about my life. She wasn't interested. I was just supposed to listen to her while she lectured me in that tone-40type of vice and told me I needed to get back on 'The Bridge'. Then she walked off without saying goodbye. It was a very cold encounter.
Honestly, even when I was a Scientologist , I thought the Elfmans ...Jenna and her Husband, Bodhi who Married me and Jason were cheesy people. They sent out a monthly newsletter in the mail to everyone they called 'The Elfman Empire' listing all their Hollywood projects and Scientology work they were doing. It was funny. Anyway, Jenna thought she was being a good Scientologist by talking to me that way. Of course, they're trained to act like that. When I first started Scientology, I figured I'd likely have to do something pretty bad in the religion's eyes to earn the Suppressive Person Label. Something horrible like killing someone or printing fake money, I don't know, something truly criminal. I wouldn't have ever dreamed that I would one day earn this distinction because I read a book-A Piece of Blue Sky by former Scientologist Jon Attack, which forever changed my life that opposed the church  beliefs. Most people know the only view you'll see of any Scientologist once they disconnect from you will be their backs. Before I was disconnected with him, I still got along with Jason as long as I agreed with is and the church's demands. But when I revealed over the telephone to my talent manger, Gay Ribisi, that I'd read an anti-Scientology book, it started the chain of events that led to me being disconnected with everyone I had known.

Suddenly, my entire life got stolen out from under me, at only 19yrs old. My entire support structure shattered. Nothing that I knew was ever the same. I lost Gay, Jason and every friend and source of love I knew besides my family in Georgia, 3,000 miles away, I was completely on my own and not one of them cared. What I didn't expect to happen was that Gay would get my agent at United Talent Agency to drop me. Or at least that's what she told me in her disconnection letter I received two days after our phone call. So I had no way of even getting work. I was suppose to start over. Gay's disconnection letter consisted of one paragraph and ended with 'Love always comma Gay." But what it meant was: 'Never speak to me again. You are now a big bad Suppressive Person." I was being punished. I wish I would've kept the letter. I 'd written many myself while I was Scientologist and was trained on how to compose one. They're to be kept short and you're to remain detached and emotionless. But the most important part is to be final, so the person on the other end knows they'll never see you again. I burned it. Jason's disconnection letter was delivered to my mailbox the same day as Gay's. It was also a paragraph, and it also ended in the same meaningless way and insinuated the same serious things. I actually questioned who wrote his letter because it mimicked Gay's in every way. It practically said the same thing. It was silly that he had to write me a polite letter to tell me never to speak to him again. In my mind a more honest dialogue would have gone like this:"Yeah, Carmen, I know I knew you better than anyone else, especially Gay. And I guess I loved you for almost ten years but you've done the unforgivable deed of reading a book that my ass-backwards religion doesn't like so I'm going to have to turn you into a more demonic version of yourself where you can never be redeemed or believed. Your pain is a lie. Just suffer in silence.'' This would have at least been a more open conversation to have had with Jason. I might have respected him for at least telling the truth. Anything Jason did after our marriage ended is truly none of my business. But his participation in what happened to me and my family after our divorce is unforgivable. I always joke that for people to understand what ex-Scientologists go through, they'd have to take a class on it. One thing they would learn about is something called 'Fair Game'....a practice Scientology uses to target its enemies. This is what happened to me after I divorced Jason and was disconnected from Scientology.
Scientology has a sophisticated intelligence agency known as the office of Special Affairs, which is essentially a complex system dedicated to ruining the lives of those it sees as enemies in any way possible. Those who work for the OSA do not follow the law. I didn't believe any of this was real until I left and started to research it in the attempt to figure out the strange things that were happening to me and my how and why my former best friend suddenly knew about everything about my personal life, and why she felt compelled to involve herself in it. There was more...Vicious rumors were being spread about things I had said only while in session, which I was made to believe were private. Some rumors I knew could only come from certain people, like Jason. I got followed all the time. People in public would loudly discuss a conversation I had just had in private, word for word. Similar thing occurred on social media too. Scientologists have no boundaries and their cruelties exclude no one. From my experience, Fair Game's main tool is mind games. They're very good at it and they play with your emotions. I've found they skirt the law and use methods like electronic surveillance and cell phones to monitor a person's every word and every move.
You'd think I'd get a divorce from a Scientologist and realize that Scientology was bunk. But brainwashing doesn't go away like that, and especially that fast. I wish it did. I was interested in knowing the truth about Scientology but couldn't get past the idea that in doing so I would be reading something so horribly wrong that I'd explode or something. So I decided to read A piece of Blue Sky. As I began it, I had a gut reaction: This finally was the truth. This set off a process that I like to call' The Unraveling" My Unraveling still isn't over. I don't know if it ever will be and I love the fact that I've finally gotten to the point of accepting this. I write poetry and a major theme I love is the sky. This is taken from two things. In Scientology they called praying 'just talking to the sky' I also got it from the book. In a sense, reading this book was my first layer of freedom, the time where I fought for my sky with my sun again to belong to myself again. I'll never forget the effect  this book had on me and continues to have on me. I will be forever thankful to Jon Atack.
No one imagines themselves as so fragile to ever let something as sinister as a cult take control of their minds. I
didn't think anyone would ever tell me how to think and when to think it. We all believe we're above such things and only stupid people could fall for that. But there are no choices in Scientology. There never were. It is all a ruse. In truth, after I left Scientology, I had to learn how to think for myself again, to speak for myself again. It's very different from the language Scientology promotes in its advertisements: "Think for yourself.'
But in the end, for me, irony does bring justice. I now live and work in Atlanta with my family. I've been in a long-term relationship since 2003 and we're blessed with twins who are about to turn 11 years old. It's whole other subject with what my children have gone through at the hand of Scientology and how they understand it to be. We all watched 'Going Clear' together and they've told me how glad they are to not be Scientologists. And that makes me happy. I'm still acting. I'm been surrounded by religion my entire life and I've recently thought about going back to school to learn more. It's fascinating for me to explore relationships people have with religion and the choices they make because of it, good and bad. It's always been a dream of mine to travel and film a documentary on all different ways people incorporate their beliefs into their lives all over the world. And I one day hope to help and be of service to other survivors who have suffered through the experiences of predatory cults.....

Well that is how she ends her story and her experience with
Scientology...I hope that I don't offend anyone with this post, but then again to me its all about a little girl called
Your Friend always

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